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What forms peoples sexual preferences, such as S&M, domination, submission, "rough sex" v "vanilla sex" etc?
I mean everyone will have their own preferences but why, what makes one person enjoy say soft kissing and gentle intercourse and someone else likes so-called rough sex?

I mean I have heard that homosexuals and lesbians are biologically disposed to being so, whether that is true or not I have no idea - but that's what I've heard. Is it then the same when it comes to folks who are say sexual sadists or sexual masochists?

Is it psychological or is it biological?

Thanks.
I think that it's definitely psychological. If you are a timid person, you are probably more prone to perfering submission, if you are an assertive/agressive person at nature, you would probably be more likely to dominate, etc.

The way your life is lived and the way your experiences play out, shapes who you are in the present. If you have had a life of being nurtured and comforted (by your parents, etc), then you are probably going to find pleasure in gentle sex (I'm assuming that's what you mean by vanilla...? I've never heard someone say "vanilla sex" before...).

It's sort of a nature vs nurture type of thing, in which this case nuture shapes who you are presently, and that determines your personal preferences.

It can also vary from mood to mood. I know that I don't always prefer the same type of sexual treatment EVERY time. Although I do tend to lean towards one way of treatment, it varies depending on what I feel like. I tend to prefer the rough way of things (sometimes even moderate pain such as biting, etc). I grew up not being very well cared for... my mom was a typical "refrigerator mom", meaning she was cold and reserved, showing little affection. My dad was actually abusive, and when he wasn't being abusive he was quite reclusive (no rhyming intended!!). So needless to say, I didn't get much "nurture" growing up. And now look at me... I prefer rough housing and moderate pain. Definite correlation right there........
How do you have good lesbian sex?
I am 17 and i am a girl.My girlfriend and i have been dating for 5 months. I have never had sex with a girl, and neither has she.It is different with Straight people. They know the penis goes in and out the vagina. I am so confused. I even watched a few porno videos on it.. i want our first time to be special and not rough. so help me please
I think that foreplay helps a lot with everything.
It's pretty simple, even though it is a bit more complicated that straight sex.
Just go with the flow and do whatever feels right. Since you're both girls, then you would know what feels good for you so just touch her where you like to be touched. Start off slow and don't go straight to the action. Make her want you and be gentle.

I don't think that pornos are a good way to improve yourself since most of it looks unrealistic.
Don't worry too much cuz neither of you have had sex with girls before, and both of you will get better with experience.
Rough Sex miscarriage?
Can rough sex cause a miscarriage? My cousin is a lesbian and was pregnant through a donor, but lost her baby two months ago due to a miscarriage. She tell me it was because she was having rough sex and was unaware it could harm the baby. I myself am 5 weeks pregnant and she is basically warning me not to have rough sex, Is this true can it hurt the baby? And i am still trying to find out exactly what rough sex is, me and my husband have had just our normal sex which i guess could be considered a little rough. I dont know though. Also, a thing i was thinking about, like i mentioned before she is a lesbian, so her sex could be a little bit diffrent then typical sex because she uses toys, etc. know what i mean.

Thanks!
Rough sex is when it causes pain or trauma.

Bruising the cervix with a toy, Is that what you were thinking?(Your cousin)

It is possible.
But I do not see it happening with your husband. Women have been raped when pregnant and had a healthy baby. I think she is just being concerned for you and your baby.

God Bless And congratulations
Lesbian Sex - Aching in the lower part?
One of the ways I make sex with my girlfriend is having her leg thrusting against my lower part, but sometimes we get a little rough and then for 1 or 2 days I'll have my lower part aching. Does this kind of thing have bad consequences or is it ok to continue?
It is easy to get carried away during sex. Soreness in the vaginal area or the breasts is fairly normal. The same can happen with men in the scrotum. It is like any bruise it is going to hurt for a day or so and get better. You guys have to decide between the two of you if the aching is worth it. I know of no damage that you are likely to do other than bruising.
Is it possable to have realy rough and hard sex with a strap-on comared to the real deal?
could a lesbian make her partner's inner thighs bruised up and tender and make her "you know" feel like hamburger? if so what strap-on is best and what attachment is best
Yes it's possible...not sure why a person would want to do that because it could also hurt the partner wearing the harness. My suggestion is check out babeland.com for a good, quality harness and dildo. If you get something really cheap and have rough sex like that it's possible that pieces will break off...not good.
New lesbian sex ideas needed?
my gf and i need new sex ideas for the bed room... or any other room for that matter. some kinky or kinda rough would be preferred but anything really works thanks for the ideas :]
Buy a chest full of BDSM equipment and sex toys (whips, chains, two way dildo?, the like) and play mad scientist/doctor :}

Be careful though lol.
My girlfriend can only orgasm during rough sex but I dont know how to be rough?
We've been together for 9 months, and she's finally told me that she's only been able to orgasm a few times during our relationship because it's hard for her to orgasm when I'm so sensual and soft. (Which is the way I've always had sex). It's ruining our relationship because she's become so sexually frustrated, and it's forced her to have sex with other people. She wants me to be dominant, and rough, but I dont know how because I've never done it like that.

Knowing that other people can make her orgasm has lowered my self esteem and confidence.

I'm afraid Im going to hurt her or she's not going to like my advances.
I feel like an idiot, I want to know how to please her as she does to me.
i want to know im not the only one who's had to deal with this.

do i just need to go all out and be rough?
do i just need to man up and **** her?
I dont know where to start.

ps: we're lesbians.
Ask her exactly how she wants it.
Girlfriend bled after sex (lesbian sex), on two ocassions, is this common/serious? help!?
me and my gf (were both girls) have been having sex for a couple of years now. a couple of weeks ago we had sex (mouth and hands) and she had just finished her period 2 days previously. after she had an orgasm we had a break and i noticed blood on my hand, it was quite dark, and she bled a bit more during the day but then stopped. so we just thought she hadn't quite finished her period.
but this morning we had sex again and the same thing happened, she was nowhere near her period this time. she says it wasn't too rough, and my nails were cut. but she is still bleeding more today and says it is painful inside. what's going on!? can anyone help? thanks.
consult any good lady doctor.
Question on lesbian sex?
okay so my cat has this bump on his leg and i was worried it was a tumor..is it? It is kinda rough too
i clicked on this out of curiosity and first of all, i would like to say that you are amazing. XD gave me a good laugh.
i wish i could help with your kitty problem. =/ maybe you should just take it to a vet? then you'll know for sure if anything's serious.
How often do long term Lesbian couples have sex?
I have been with my GF for just over 6 years, we have had a rough year because my partners mum became terminal and our sex life took a dive (I totally understand that she would not be in the mood with such devastating news and issues to deal with) but since her mum passed away (5 months now) our sex life is very little now. I feel like ive just become use to not getting it on a regular basis and when I say regular I mean 3 times a month before we got into this rut, we don't live together and only get to see each other weekends so thats why it has never been majorly frequent but has been ok for both of us. We are in abit of a rut and I would like to work it out, I know my GF wants to fix it too and actually has a higher sex drive than me, but now im curious to know how often do long term Lesbian couples have sex, per week or per month? What is the frequency of sex within the relationship? Its a question I have been looking up all day online and there is plenty of information on straight couple sex frequency (Alot of long term couples calming they have sex 4-5 times a week in 10+ year relationships, making me feel totally inadequate) but cant find any on Lesbian relationships. Could someone let me know if they have any info online or what the go is with you if you are in a long term relationship?

Thanks
It's hard to say what the standard times a week are to have sex with a sex partner. I am a lesbian, sometime I want more sex than usual, so I go to the the world's largest lesbian website:
www.lesbianeasy.com
to have sex with someone. I admit that It's excited. Sometimes I don't want have a sex because I am tired. So it depends. Usually, I have three or more times sex a week with my sex partners.

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